Today.... it came at me full blast. The things I wish i coudl change. The things I have done. The people I have hurt. The peopel that have hurt me. The things taht arent fair in life. The people that make things unfair. My heart and how it has been broken in to a million pieces.. Being afraid for friends..... missing the happiness... missing family.... missing high school. missing a childhood that promised me soo much. missing people I never thought Id ever think about. Wishing I travelled.... wishing I did something great with my life. wishing I helped more people.... Wishing someone woudl help me. Being afraid of life.... being afraid of death..... Missing profound people..... Loving and Hating...... Looking at my life... and knowing... I have done nothing that anyone could ever talk about....... nothing great...... feeling unloveable..... feeling useless... feeling pressure.... Not being able to breathe........ it all came in one blow...... my chest was PHYSICALLY hurting.... it felt as though a dozen people were standing on my chest.... at once...... Wanting it all to be over and done with...... wanting peace again.
