So I am here thinking again. About my future, my life, my everything. At this point in my life I CAN say that I feel a little bit of accomplishment. I mean, I have done a lot and dealt with A LOT these couple of years. One being that I moved away from the only people that love me, my family. I moved away from my friends and tried to develop a NEW life. A life where I am independant. I know to most people this is not a big thing but really it is. Paying for everything by myself. Of course my parents help out sometimes... but no.. I have worked for everything I have and own. Going to school right now is HARD... not Just because it is difficult in school work wise... but because I am not THERE... meaning Im just in a land where I am thinking..ALL OF THE TIME.... thinking about my life and its meaning... about my relevance. I have a lot to offer to people. I have a lot I wish I could give right now... yet here I am telling all of you that, really, for once.... I CANT GIVE ANYMORE... Im not going to ramble on about my problems or the things that happened to me this year..... what I will say is things that happen in life .. sometimes aren't fair.... and I cannot help but concintrate on this unfair life.... Its not ONE thiing... its many... of course they all happened at once... and finding a way to dig myself out is hard.... finding a way to challenge this is unbearable...
Some people think I am screwed up... some people think I hold too much in... some people think I dont have a grasp on life.
But what I have to say is... SOME PEOPLE AREN'T IN MY LIFE.. IN MY HEAD..... so tehy dont have a right to say that. To teh people I do talk to...... they know most of me..... they know I have my problems.. and that I don't liek to talk about those problems.... because to be honest.... to be able to talk about them... you have to be comfortable... and I really havent been comfortable with ANYONE yet....
You know... I wish I could forgive people..... forgive the things that people have done to me.... just leave it all behind.. but something instead of me has soo much hate... and I wish I didnt have taht hate.... but I do....
The crazy thing is...... If you know me well...... Well then you know.. that I forgive TOO much and that I TRUST tooo much... and so for me to hate with all that I have... really takes a lot...... but you know.... I am a person who DOES forgive...but all I need is something to show me they deserve that.... I DONNO... I donno what I am saying...
Today.... I am looking at my past thinking... where? where did it all goo? passion? love? greatness? Of course I still have passion... I have passions... if you have a deep conversation with me you will see that.... I think A LOT... about great and wonderful things......... but Im not talking about dreaming or thinking... Im talking about reality..... when ae we ever going to live in reality... and face sorrow in the face and live life to teh fullest....
Well taht is all for tonight... I know.. its a lot to read.....
But I guess I hope you all have a GREAT sleep.. and an awesome week :)
Love yas
LIVE LIFE FOR YOU
Krysta
Sunday, July 17, 2005
I LOVE MY PUPPY
ok yeah Im an idiot... i liek this blogspot SOOO much better,,,, I can upload pictures....this one is of my puppy and I
A NEW BEGINNING
Here I am... its Sunday night... i transfered over.. teh somewhat important blogs from my last blogspot... I will still use the other one.... but for me... some of things written in teh other one are a bit to negative for my friends and family to read... we all need a bit of privacy.... as for this blogspot.. I want ppl to read it.. because it gives people a bit of a view of my life.. and for those friends taht i dont see... it shows I am still up and running.. I have some writing to do... I love to write stupid things and ideas.... if you liek them.. let me know... i like to hear peoples opinions... let me know if you disagree..... after all I like arguements about stupid stuff.... hey thats my life... this is my life... well partially....
Today is a new beginning.. a new blogspot for new thoughts and hopefully being a bit more positive.... its time to write about other things besides the people that make me sad and lonely.... Lately... my life HAS been sad and lonely... I AM unhappy... and for those GOOD friends of mine... you are my WHOLE life.. you know who you are...... you know where you stand...
For those of my friends that havent talked to me lately... or had a good discussion with me... I want to let you know.. i havent forgotten about you.. you are still in my heart.... just there are things taht I NEED to deal with and things that I CANNOt take out on others...well besides Aimee...lol.... because she is in my house.. she takes the fall sometimes... when I get moody....
To bring ppl up to speed..... I want to leave Canada.... for awhile.... to get away... from everything... dont take offense.... I love you all.... but FOR ME.... I need to discover a new world to break myself free from habits and a world that I am TOLD to follow.....
Today... is a new beginning... a positive beginning... time to pull everything up.... time to set my life straight... set things move into motion......... start smiling..... start meeting people that inspire me..... take leaps.... for I once used to take those leaps....... MY NEW LIFE...... and if you feel llike being negative to me... well/..... just dont.... I dont deserve it AT ALL... I deserve happiness... and I WILL GET HAPPINESS.... withour NEGATIVE PEOPLE!!!
Well everyone.. have a good night or week....
LIVE LIFE FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Krysta
Today is a new beginning.. a new blogspot for new thoughts and hopefully being a bit more positive.... its time to write about other things besides the people that make me sad and lonely.... Lately... my life HAS been sad and lonely... I AM unhappy... and for those GOOD friends of mine... you are my WHOLE life.. you know who you are...... you know where you stand...
For those of my friends that havent talked to me lately... or had a good discussion with me... I want to let you know.. i havent forgotten about you.. you are still in my heart.... just there are things taht I NEED to deal with and things that I CANNOt take out on others...well besides Aimee...lol.... because she is in my house.. she takes the fall sometimes... when I get moody....
To bring ppl up to speed..... I want to leave Canada.... for awhile.... to get away... from everything... dont take offense.... I love you all.... but FOR ME.... I need to discover a new world to break myself free from habits and a world that I am TOLD to follow.....
Today... is a new beginning... a positive beginning... time to pull everything up.... time to set my life straight... set things move into motion......... start smiling..... start meeting people that inspire me..... take leaps.... for I once used to take those leaps....... MY NEW LIFE...... and if you feel llike being negative to me... well/..... just dont.... I dont deserve it AT ALL... I deserve happiness... and I WILL GET HAPPINESS.... withour NEGATIVE PEOPLE!!!
Well everyone.. have a good night or week....
LIVE LIFE FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Krysta
LIVE STRONG BRACELETS
Id liek to make a comment about the MANY papers and posts and articles about teh LIVE STRONG bands being a WEAK fad.
Some people are telling me NOT to wear the yellow LIVE STRONG BRACLET.... I have one and I Just got it. Ok soo a lot of people think I am a retard for buying it. Well You know what FUCK I am so pissed off about this...
In the article...... it says "Next time you're out at the bar and hitting on some chick, check out her wrists. I bet she's wearing the bracelet. If she is, and she knows what it's for, tell her that's great, but you don't need to show the whole world that you support cancer because you obviously do unless you enjoy dying, so despite her desire to be a lemming, she may as well remove it."
Another article said that teh only reason people wear them is for a fad.... and supposably the fad is OVER..
Yes I am wearing the bracelet. And No I am not wearing it because it is a fad. Quite frankly if you think Cancer is a fad then you are fucking retarded. Everyone knows someone who has died of cancer. Everyone has felt the grief of losing a person they loved, including me. My grandmother died of cancer... and for someone to tell me that her death is a fad,,, that i am wearing a bracelet supporting the research of her death because it is a fad,,,, taht is just wrong for someone to say something like that to me... OR TO ANYONE..... I loved my grandma and Id do anything to bring her back..... but it is impossible to bring back those people we loved. So tell me what teh hell is wrong with wanting to support a cause to save my friends... my family or even myself...
I will wear this bracelet until cancer is gone.. until the day i die if that is what it takes.... I WILL try and make other people wear them to make them popular... for those who dont know what the bracelet is for... WHO FUCKING CARES.... make it popular... make it known... so taht more and more of us will buy them... instead of putting down the cause and reason for having these bracelets. People put down the fact taht people dont know what teh bracelet is for..... yet does it matter....... really taht just means more and more people are buying a bracelet and more money is going to Cancer... id rather that then leaving everything as it was..... It is sad that buying a bracelet is teh only way that I or other people support cancer...... but isnt it a good thing that our world is FINALLY joining together to rid our pain?
Tell me what you think... if you think Im wrong or right?
Some people are telling me NOT to wear the yellow LIVE STRONG BRACLET.... I have one and I Just got it. Ok soo a lot of people think I am a retard for buying it. Well You know what FUCK I am so pissed off about this...
In the article...... it says "Next time you're out at the bar and hitting on some chick, check out her wrists. I bet she's wearing the bracelet. If she is, and she knows what it's for, tell her that's great, but you don't need to show the whole world that you support cancer because you obviously do unless you enjoy dying, so despite her desire to be a lemming, she may as well remove it."
Another article said that teh only reason people wear them is for a fad.... and supposably the fad is OVER..
Yes I am wearing the bracelet. And No I am not wearing it because it is a fad. Quite frankly if you think Cancer is a fad then you are fucking retarded. Everyone knows someone who has died of cancer. Everyone has felt the grief of losing a person they loved, including me. My grandmother died of cancer... and for someone to tell me that her death is a fad,,, that i am wearing a bracelet supporting the research of her death because it is a fad,,,, taht is just wrong for someone to say something like that to me... OR TO ANYONE..... I loved my grandma and Id do anything to bring her back..... but it is impossible to bring back those people we loved. So tell me what teh hell is wrong with wanting to support a cause to save my friends... my family or even myself...
I will wear this bracelet until cancer is gone.. until the day i die if that is what it takes.... I WILL try and make other people wear them to make them popular... for those who dont know what the bracelet is for... WHO FUCKING CARES.... make it popular... make it known... so taht more and more of us will buy them... instead of putting down the cause and reason for having these bracelets. People put down the fact taht people dont know what teh bracelet is for..... yet does it matter....... really taht just means more and more people are buying a bracelet and more money is going to Cancer... id rather that then leaving everything as it was..... It is sad that buying a bracelet is teh only way that I or other people support cancer...... but isnt it a good thing that our world is FINALLY joining together to rid our pain?
Tell me what you think... if you think Im wrong or right?
SHIT HAPPENS
People say
"Shit happens"
And it does
To me
All the time
People say
"Things will look different
in the morning"
And they do:
Worse
People say
"Life can be great"
And it is
But not for me
"Shit happens"
And it does
To me
All the time
People say
"Things will look different
in the morning"
And they do:
Worse
People say
"Life can be great"
And it is
But not for me
understand your place
When i am told that I do not have a grasp on life... I tend to disagree.... I have more of a grasp on this world then most of the people caught up in their so-called-perfect lives.
we have many types of people in this world.
we have some that dont like to think outside of the box.... the ones that sit at home and watch TV everyday to take them away from the reality of their messed up lives.. sometimes these people..... they portray teh "perfect" life... yet they still cannot see that they only care about themselves and hope taht one day they will be as strong as the "rich" or the "mask" that the so called "strong" people give off. These people are hard to figure out as they once used to have a heart and they used to see a light in this world... its hard to figure out why they have changed into the rest of the robots.
We have some that are in between... these people care alot.... yet they do as they are told in their life... as this is how they were brought up.... to listen to the path taht they were chosen for.. most of these people turn out to be depressed as they cannot break out of their chains..... they live their whole life knowing their is an outside to the jail walls..... yet never fight for thier rights.These could be the most sad people to llook at.... as they deserve a very loving and appreciative life
We have the people that know their lives are down. Most of these people deserve their down life because they treat others with disrespect, lies and plays. These people are the type taht have a lot of anger. they were once treated with the same disrespect as they give... this is why they liek to ruin others lives also.
We have people that make a different life with their imagination..... as they create a world each day. These people can be leaders... as they have ideas that no one else could imagine. They make a world peaceful OR distructive.. tehy can be bad people or good.
We have the people taht could be waht most would call average... they know their livea arent perfect... but tehy live each day out... with no excitment or fear.... as they are the average robot... living day by day with the same routine.
Then finally we have a type of person that is quite rare... These people think of the world OUT SIDE of teh box. tehy think of everything and use many metaphors in their lives... they compare and contrast. Thinking about the world in a prospective that no one will EVER. These people try each day to make the people around them comfortable... especially family.... they sacrifice their lives to make someone else happy. Their are downsides also. Once you have sacrificed..... eventually you cant understand why people didnt treat you the same. this is a BIG deal as some can feel lonely and some cant understand... ever.... but still this type of person portrays to be strong and he or she is..... because they know teh true meanings of this world
a motive.???..... understand who you are... so that if you are stuck in between... you can break out into the world and understand your place
we have many types of people in this world.
we have some that dont like to think outside of the box.... the ones that sit at home and watch TV everyday to take them away from the reality of their messed up lives.. sometimes these people..... they portray teh "perfect" life... yet they still cannot see that they only care about themselves and hope taht one day they will be as strong as the "rich" or the "mask" that the so called "strong" people give off. These people are hard to figure out as they once used to have a heart and they used to see a light in this world... its hard to figure out why they have changed into the rest of the robots.
We have some that are in between... these people care alot.... yet they do as they are told in their life... as this is how they were brought up.... to listen to the path taht they were chosen for.. most of these people turn out to be depressed as they cannot break out of their chains..... they live their whole life knowing their is an outside to the jail walls..... yet never fight for thier rights.These could be the most sad people to llook at.... as they deserve a very loving and appreciative life
We have the people that know their lives are down. Most of these people deserve their down life because they treat others with disrespect, lies and plays. These people are the type taht have a lot of anger. they were once treated with the same disrespect as they give... this is why they liek to ruin others lives also.
We have people that make a different life with their imagination..... as they create a world each day. These people can be leaders... as they have ideas that no one else could imagine. They make a world peaceful OR distructive.. tehy can be bad people or good.
We have the people taht could be waht most would call average... they know their livea arent perfect... but tehy live each day out... with no excitment or fear.... as they are the average robot... living day by day with the same routine.
Then finally we have a type of person that is quite rare... These people think of the world OUT SIDE of teh box. tehy think of everything and use many metaphors in their lives... they compare and contrast. Thinking about the world in a prospective that no one will EVER. These people try each day to make the people around them comfortable... especially family.... they sacrifice their lives to make someone else happy. Their are downsides also. Once you have sacrificed..... eventually you cant understand why people didnt treat you the same. this is a BIG deal as some can feel lonely and some cant understand... ever.... but still this type of person portrays to be strong and he or she is..... because they know teh true meanings of this world
a motive.???..... understand who you are... so that if you are stuck in between... you can break out into the world and understand your place
Judge me when you know ME
I dont understand why we are noticed for everything that we have done wrong or the things that we are not proud of. We do a lot in our life that is good or so I think. and we are never recognized for good.... or at least until we are dead. its true.... today I could be told that I have screwed everything up..... that I was the reason for everything turning to shit... that is a definite....... at least that is what is happening.... as much as Id like to think I am a good person... i am being told that I am not liked for who i am, for how I deal with things... for how I have made others sad or worried. but never am I praised for a smile i put on someones face for a laugh that warms a heart. never.. I could tell someone I love them,,, that they are perfect.. I could make a person feel like a million bucks.... but if I do one thing wrong... my good is forgotten... but if I died tomorrow..... people would talk about how I did this and that... how I made them smile or how I made them happy... why is that... why cant we just love someone for who they are... for the wrong and the right. instead of wasting it until teh person is gone.... Ill love you until you teh day you die...... not love you on the day of your death...... dont take taht forgranted
Lately.... I have been judged and told how I dont deal with things right. I dont understand... tehy are not in my shoes. they dont know what is going through my head... they dont know...
Before I judge i TRY to put myself in their shoes..... because i could judge that person... . and say what they are doing is wrong... yet I might have done the same thing . Its easy for you to look at me as weak... its easy for you to see through the smile.... yet you dont see my hopes and dreams..... my thoughts,
Soo why is it? why is it that someone can judge me..... for my decisions and wrongs.... and yet they cant ask me what excites me..... what makes me happy..... what i aspire for? Seems so simple right? just to ask? how I feel? instead of making me feel like I cant live without support every minute....... instead of making me feel usless..... i mean I dont know if you understand this...... but Id ratehr have someone have support and hope.. and love for me.... instead of worrying.... instead of telling me I look unhappy... instead of losing hope in me..... I already know I have lost hope in myself.... but Im not ready to hear that you have lost hope in me too....... if people lose hope in you... tehn what is worth living for,,,,, I would never make anyone believe i had lost hope in them...... because in everyone.... their is love and a side taht no one has seen before...... instead of judging and pushing for me to make the right decision.... make me feel comfortable... and give me support in my decisions.... after all...... A good friend is their to help work things out...... if you push to hard you'll lose taht friend.... even if you are just trying to help... Be there through good and bad
If you are my friend... be my friend....... if you arent.... leave me alone...
Krysta
Lately.... I have been judged and told how I dont deal with things right. I dont understand... tehy are not in my shoes. they dont know what is going through my head... they dont know...
Before I judge i TRY to put myself in their shoes..... because i could judge that person... . and say what they are doing is wrong... yet I might have done the same thing . Its easy for you to look at me as weak... its easy for you to see through the smile.... yet you dont see my hopes and dreams..... my thoughts,
Soo why is it? why is it that someone can judge me..... for my decisions and wrongs.... and yet they cant ask me what excites me..... what makes me happy..... what i aspire for? Seems so simple right? just to ask? how I feel? instead of making me feel like I cant live without support every minute....... instead of making me feel usless..... i mean I dont know if you understand this...... but Id ratehr have someone have support and hope.. and love for me.... instead of worrying.... instead of telling me I look unhappy... instead of losing hope in me..... I already know I have lost hope in myself.... but Im not ready to hear that you have lost hope in me too....... if people lose hope in you... tehn what is worth living for,,,,, I would never make anyone believe i had lost hope in them...... because in everyone.... their is love and a side taht no one has seen before...... instead of judging and pushing for me to make the right decision.... make me feel comfortable... and give me support in my decisions.... after all...... A good friend is their to help work things out...... if you push to hard you'll lose taht friend.... even if you are just trying to help... Be there through good and bad
If you are my friend... be my friend....... if you arent.... leave me alone...
Krysta
What I have learned about life
So how does our world work? tell me the positives? I know the negatives...
This is what I know about our world
@ your childhood is the best part of most people's lives. Some people may not think so... ....but if you truely think about it and realise the adventures you had.. you will agree
@ in high school you are soo nieve to what is real and what is fake... if you look back to high school you will tell me taht those people are not your friends anymore and taht your boyfriend really DIDNT love you.
@ nothing will help you but you. you can beg and beg to be helped... but in the end most people really are selfish and dont really care enough about you to help... they care about themselves.
@ true guys are geeky,,, the ones that care about themselves more then anyone else are no good. They use and abuse you for what you, as a good person, will give
@ stay true to you... stay true to what you believe in... because once you leave those boundries, your life is worth nothing
@ think about other peoples lives... because really, you never know what could push someone... The last thing someone needs is to be pushed off the edge.
@ If someone is mean to you... its because they are jealous.... of what you have and tehy dont.. we all get jealous..... and if your "someone" comes off jealous.. try and realise that its because they love you... and they dont want you to leave them
@ life can be crude.. it has shown that. I dont know what to say about taht... because I dont know how to handle it.. and truely I believe NO ONE can give advice about that... because we all have bad days... no one knows how to handle it "right".... the way you handle it is the way you handle it.
@ try and see thinsg for what they are. the last thing you need is to have the illusion that everything is perfect,,, because when you realise it isnt.... you see it a million times worse then you imagined.
@ a person is beautiful.. there is ALWAYS something beautiful in a person.. always... dont take that forgranted...
@ love is something that we see as once.... I dont know anything about that either... for I thought love was in my life and it wasnt
@ we are so dependant... on people... on machines.. on technology.... take some sort of time and breathe in fresh air because our world gets worse each day.. and it isnt as fresh as the day before,,, we are all dying slowely... and so is our world... so soak it in..... not just for second... go hiking.. swimming in teh ocean... sit in the sun.. and see it as more then a tan but as life.
@ a song can speak to you... we all need to sing once and awhile ... to let other people know we are full of emotion and life...... music is life to me..
@ there is always something in the way... of making us happy..... Always...
@ if looking pretty iis what your looking for and you dont see taht in a person anymore... see it as it is.... give her or him more attention.. they will look pretty for you... if you show them you love them......
@ losing faith in yourself is the worst thing... I have experienced and am experiencing it... .. for me to tell you what to do would be stupid as I am just as sad as you
@ be you.... I dont care if your asshole.... if thats you... then let me see taht before I fall for you... as seeing after is a heartbreaker.....
@ once your heart has been broken, you may be able to pick up teh pieces but just like glass..... the small pieces get misplaced.. so everytime you get hurt or broken,,, a little bit of your heart is gone forever....
@ If you hate your life... hate it... dont pretend..... if people cant deal with the fact taht you are unhappy well... FUCK THEM... because Id rather be unhappy then pretend to be happy
I have learned many things..... and Im only 19... Part of me doesnt want to see the rest of it..... I dont want to know that my life is doomed.... my life.. is my life... and no one can tell me that I am doing soemthing wrong unless I have hurt them...because IT IS MY LIFE.....
This is what I know about our world
@ your childhood is the best part of most people's lives. Some people may not think so... ....but if you truely think about it and realise the adventures you had.. you will agree
@ in high school you are soo nieve to what is real and what is fake... if you look back to high school you will tell me taht those people are not your friends anymore and taht your boyfriend really DIDNT love you.
@ nothing will help you but you. you can beg and beg to be helped... but in the end most people really are selfish and dont really care enough about you to help... they care about themselves.
@ true guys are geeky,,, the ones that care about themselves more then anyone else are no good. They use and abuse you for what you, as a good person, will give
@ stay true to you... stay true to what you believe in... because once you leave those boundries, your life is worth nothing
@ think about other peoples lives... because really, you never know what could push someone... The last thing someone needs is to be pushed off the edge.
@ If someone is mean to you... its because they are jealous.... of what you have and tehy dont.. we all get jealous..... and if your "someone" comes off jealous.. try and realise that its because they love you... and they dont want you to leave them
@ life can be crude.. it has shown that. I dont know what to say about taht... because I dont know how to handle it.. and truely I believe NO ONE can give advice about that... because we all have bad days... no one knows how to handle it "right".... the way you handle it is the way you handle it.
@ try and see thinsg for what they are. the last thing you need is to have the illusion that everything is perfect,,, because when you realise it isnt.... you see it a million times worse then you imagined.
@ a person is beautiful.. there is ALWAYS something beautiful in a person.. always... dont take that forgranted...
@ love is something that we see as once.... I dont know anything about that either... for I thought love was in my life and it wasnt
@ we are so dependant... on people... on machines.. on technology.... take some sort of time and breathe in fresh air because our world gets worse each day.. and it isnt as fresh as the day before,,, we are all dying slowely... and so is our world... so soak it in..... not just for second... go hiking.. swimming in teh ocean... sit in the sun.. and see it as more then a tan but as life.
@ a song can speak to you... we all need to sing once and awhile ... to let other people know we are full of emotion and life...... music is life to me..
@ there is always something in the way... of making us happy..... Always...
@ if looking pretty iis what your looking for and you dont see taht in a person anymore... see it as it is.... give her or him more attention.. they will look pretty for you... if you show them you love them......
@ losing faith in yourself is the worst thing... I have experienced and am experiencing it... .. for me to tell you what to do would be stupid as I am just as sad as you
@ be you.... I dont care if your asshole.... if thats you... then let me see taht before I fall for you... as seeing after is a heartbreaker.....
@ once your heart has been broken, you may be able to pick up teh pieces but just like glass..... the small pieces get misplaced.. so everytime you get hurt or broken,,, a little bit of your heart is gone forever....
@ If you hate your life... hate it... dont pretend..... if people cant deal with the fact taht you are unhappy well... FUCK THEM... because Id rather be unhappy then pretend to be happy
I have learned many things..... and Im only 19... Part of me doesnt want to see the rest of it..... I dont want to know that my life is doomed.... my life.. is my life... and no one can tell me that I am doing soemthing wrong unless I have hurt them...because IT IS MY LIFE.....
Where did it all go?
I just watched "Stand by Me". Its a good movie. But It got me thinking about friends and how much things have changed for me. Just last week I told a story about how my brother and my friend Josh and I ran away when we were 5 or 6, into the woods. You know that day I remember feeling like I could acomplish anything, that I could go anywhere and people would admire me. I remember thinking this world had so much to offer. When, when did I stop thinking I could do everything? When did I give myself limits? I remember thinking I was brave and I remember the forest looked soo big and soo different. Today, I look at that same forest and think nothing of it. I see a forest, I dont see adventure.
Friends. I can name who my best friends were each year of my life, but what is sad is not one of them is really my best friend now. Times change soo much. I remember once I was told, "If you have three friends that are true throughout your whole life, then you are lucky" I thought I had those three friends mapped out. I thought that I could pick and choose where my life goes.In reality, I can't, not one bit, not one way, my life is moving in all different directions.
High school. It was great. Well most of it. The beginning of it was horrible. I was mixed up just like I am now. And the truth is someone saved me from my feelings. I thought this person was my dream come true. It was the best feeling in the whole entire world. I was stuck in a bubble thinking it would never pop. No one could take away my happiness. I always smiled. This person made me feel like a perfect girl, beautiful, and in everyway, a princess. When I look back on high school, I think WOW those were the best days of my life. I thought no one could take that from me. I can look back and idol the happiness I had.
College. I realised that happiness can be taken away from me. It was taken by the same person who gave it to me. Its funny how life works. Looking at most things realising that nothing in my life is good.Ya. Im finding out who I am. That I like writing (when im not being forced). The truth is that I have been more unhappy then anytime in my life. My feelings are being twisted in every direction possible. Loving my family more then I ever have. Finding out that they are the most important people in your life and that you can't take that forgranted. It hits me hard. Most of the friends in College are not really friends. They hurt you. They take advantage of who you are as a person and they make you think that you are not enough. I feel as though I am not enough. That people dont appreciate me. Even though i appreciate every person in my life. Its hard to understand what I am suppose to do. There is only ONE thing in my life right now that is screaming ADVENTURE. Australia. I said I'd do it and I will... or ILL TRY!!.. I wrote some letters to companies looking for sponsors. I figure if I can do this. If I can have strength to leave then Ill feeling like I started over. Like Im back in that forest looking for paths to adventure. You never know what might happen. I think that is the best part about it. YOU never know.. I could love it there and not come back. I could meet GREAT friends. I could come back happy in every way. I could learn how my life is suppose to play out.
One memory this year pops out. ANd I love it. When AImee and I ran in the rain. That was a great day!! That was a day where I didnt care about anything. That was a day where I was a kid again. And it was nice to have someone be a kid with me.
The only goal I have for my life is to LIVE IT!!!!
ONE DAY IT'LL ALL WORK OUT RIGHT. It'll be ok in the end, if its not ok, its not the end.
krysta
Friends. I can name who my best friends were each year of my life, but what is sad is not one of them is really my best friend now. Times change soo much. I remember once I was told, "If you have three friends that are true throughout your whole life, then you are lucky" I thought I had those three friends mapped out. I thought that I could pick and choose where my life goes.In reality, I can't, not one bit, not one way, my life is moving in all different directions.
High school. It was great. Well most of it. The beginning of it was horrible. I was mixed up just like I am now. And the truth is someone saved me from my feelings. I thought this person was my dream come true. It was the best feeling in the whole entire world. I was stuck in a bubble thinking it would never pop. No one could take away my happiness. I always smiled. This person made me feel like a perfect girl, beautiful, and in everyway, a princess. When I look back on high school, I think WOW those were the best days of my life. I thought no one could take that from me. I can look back and idol the happiness I had.
College. I realised that happiness can be taken away from me. It was taken by the same person who gave it to me. Its funny how life works. Looking at most things realising that nothing in my life is good.Ya. Im finding out who I am. That I like writing (when im not being forced). The truth is that I have been more unhappy then anytime in my life. My feelings are being twisted in every direction possible. Loving my family more then I ever have. Finding out that they are the most important people in your life and that you can't take that forgranted. It hits me hard. Most of the friends in College are not really friends. They hurt you. They take advantage of who you are as a person and they make you think that you are not enough. I feel as though I am not enough. That people dont appreciate me. Even though i appreciate every person in my life. Its hard to understand what I am suppose to do. There is only ONE thing in my life right now that is screaming ADVENTURE. Australia. I said I'd do it and I will... or ILL TRY!!.. I wrote some letters to companies looking for sponsors. I figure if I can do this. If I can have strength to leave then Ill feeling like I started over. Like Im back in that forest looking for paths to adventure. You never know what might happen. I think that is the best part about it. YOU never know.. I could love it there and not come back. I could meet GREAT friends. I could come back happy in every way. I could learn how my life is suppose to play out.
One memory this year pops out. ANd I love it. When AImee and I ran in the rain. That was a great day!! That was a day where I didnt care about anything. That was a day where I was a kid again. And it was nice to have someone be a kid with me.
The only goal I have for my life is to LIVE IT!!!!
ONE DAY IT'LL ALL WORK OUT RIGHT. It'll be ok in the end, if its not ok, its not the end.
krysta
Resembling a sunset
You resemble a sunset
Picture it
I am standing on a mountain... the sun is warm... bright... I smile. .. I sit and think about all the times the sun has made me smile... all the times the sun has bad me bright. Capturing those moments... a glimps... of the times in my life where it is as if I could take a perfect picture. a picture of me smiling... a picture that everyone looks at and smiles too.... because they can feel the happiness... when i sit and look at the sun.. I am perfectly still staring into it... my eyes do not move unless the sun does... my heart beats and it is so quiet that I can hear it beat... although there are so many sounds all I can hear is my beating heart. as the sun disappears I can only think of those perfect moments.. I keep picturing them... perfection. the sun is gone.. where did it go.. why did it have to go. I am still picturing it.. yet I am soo sad... it is dark.. it is cold.. you have made me cold. why cant the sun come back up so I can feel the warmth again... I need taht light back in my life.
Picture it
I am standing on a mountain... the sun is warm... bright... I smile. .. I sit and think about all the times the sun has made me smile... all the times the sun has bad me bright. Capturing those moments... a glimps... of the times in my life where it is as if I could take a perfect picture. a picture of me smiling... a picture that everyone looks at and smiles too.... because they can feel the happiness... when i sit and look at the sun.. I am perfectly still staring into it... my eyes do not move unless the sun does... my heart beats and it is so quiet that I can hear it beat... although there are so many sounds all I can hear is my beating heart. as the sun disappears I can only think of those perfect moments.. I keep picturing them... perfection. the sun is gone.. where did it go.. why did it have to go. I am still picturing it.. yet I am soo sad... it is dark.. it is cold.. you have made me cold. why cant the sun come back up so I can feel the warmth again... I need taht light back in my life.
Beginnings and Endings
Beginnings and ends.... beginnings and ends?
beginnings.
fun. beautiful. timeless. heart. love. smiles. laughs. unable to look at anyone else. concintrated in your eyes. talks. walks. sunsets. warmth. looking on the horizon and knowing nothing is better.painting the picture. painting my life. painting you. depth within your eyes.
ends.
hurt. cold. tears. laughing at my tears. heartless. still. sleepless. seeing nothing in your eyes. seeing nothing in my life. seeing nothing as good as you. will never be there again
beginings... are they worth it ends? what are they for?
beginnings.
fun. beautiful. timeless. heart. love. smiles. laughs. unable to look at anyone else. concintrated in your eyes. talks. walks. sunsets. warmth. looking on the horizon and knowing nothing is better.painting the picture. painting my life. painting you. depth within your eyes.
ends.
hurt. cold. tears. laughing at my tears. heartless. still. sleepless. seeing nothing in your eyes. seeing nothing in my life. seeing nothing as good as you. will never be there again
beginings... are they worth it ends? what are they for?
Love wont go away
Love Won't Go Away
I've tried, God knows, I've tried so much
To close my eyes, forget your touch.
Erase your smile, turn off your charms
Make blank the time spent in your arms.
Call halt to passion, stop my heart
Don't hear its beating when we part.
Stay cold to ardour - Bid it go
Shut off my feelings - tell them 'No'.
But all's in vain - It just won't do
I can't control my love for you.
Instead of shrinking, it just grows.
Where will it lead to? Heaven knows.
But I've decided there's no way
To curb its fervour - Let it stay!
You must believe me when I say,
I just can't help it - Love won't go away.
I've tried, God knows, I've tried so much
To close my eyes, forget your touch.
Erase your smile, turn off your charms
Make blank the time spent in your arms.
Call halt to passion, stop my heart
Don't hear its beating when we part.
Stay cold to ardour - Bid it go
Shut off my feelings - tell them 'No'.
But all's in vain - It just won't do
I can't control my love for you.
Instead of shrinking, it just grows.
Where will it lead to? Heaven knows.
But I've decided there's no way
To curb its fervour - Let it stay!
You must believe me when I say,
I just can't help it - Love won't go away.
cold and crappy day
Do you think he woke up that cold and crappy day and knew it was his day? Do you think he took one last look at the world and knew that many people loved him? Did he think of his children... Did he wonder what he was meant for. was he scared. did he know that his wife loved him... did they know he loved them. I dont understand deatha nd i always say Im not scared of death... Im not... not for myself... but for others.... for their families.... I cant believe I feel this for a person I have met twice..... and I wish I could help his family,... give them hugs and tell them that it will be ok... but I know it wont be ok.... I know that his daughters are crying right now... that they are wondering why this had to happen to them,... and his friends are grieving.... they are wondering why their friend is gone and why this world has to be soo unfare.... they want him back... they want to hug him and tell him that is will be fine..... they want to sit at the dinner table and laugh one more time... they want to see his smile in life form... and they want to remember every good thing he did... but they cant they are grieving... they are hating everyone.l.. they are hating life and mostly they hate him... they hate that they didnt get that last kiss... that last hug.... that last good bye... they hate him.... I HATE THIS WORLD... I hate that bad things happen to goo people and I want to change it..... but i am a pebble and I cant help this world pain.
True Love Means...
True Love Means...
A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a deserted road on a motorcycle.
Girl: Slow down, we're going too fast. I'm scared! And I don't want anything to happen.
Guy: Come on, don't worry. I know what I'm doing. Your having fun right?
Girl: NO...please stop. I'm really scared
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I LOVE YOU! Now please slow down.
Guy: Give me a hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you help me out here? Will you take me Helmet off of me and put it on you? It's bugging me.
In the paper the next day: A motorcycle has crashed into a building break failure. Two people found, but only one survived.
The Truth is: That halfway down the road the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her say she loved him and felt her hug him for one last time. Then had her wear him helmet so she would live, even though it meant that he would die.
A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a deserted road on a motorcycle.
Girl: Slow down, we're going too fast. I'm scared! And I don't want anything to happen.
Guy: Come on, don't worry. I know what I'm doing. Your having fun right?
Girl: NO...please stop. I'm really scared
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I LOVE YOU! Now please slow down.
Guy: Give me a hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you help me out here? Will you take me Helmet off of me and put it on you? It's bugging me.
In the paper the next day: A motorcycle has crashed into a building break failure. Two people found, but only one survived.
The Truth is: That halfway down the road the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her say she loved him and felt her hug him for one last time. Then had her wear him helmet so she would live, even though it meant that he would die.
Dalton McGuinty
I just wrote am email to Dalton McGuinty's office about college funding. I FEEL GOOD for sending it.
Here it is
Hello,
I just received an e-mail telling me all of the facts and figures about how I, as an ontario college student, am being unappreciated. I think that it is ridiculous that university students are funded more each year and even secondary students. Is that suppose to tell us that we have equal future... Is that suppose encourage us and make us think that we can create goals... no it shows us that we are last on our governments mind. I know so many people that couldn't go to college this year... they put it off...yes another year working and trying to make into college....so then another year comes by and what do you know the tuition had increased again. If you want our generation to aspire for something great, well you need to start looking into our future and help us make that happen.
YES, I DO BELIEVE I AM WORTH MORE. It seems our country is going down hill that is all that I have seen. I was in the first year of the new curriculum in high school and I know how hard change is. We have been put through a lot and in huge ways. So maybe you could take some of the pressure off and understand that as a college student I need to have more appreciation and more funding.
Thank you,
Krysta
Here it is
Hello,
I just received an e-mail telling me all of the facts and figures about how I, as an ontario college student, am being unappreciated. I think that it is ridiculous that university students are funded more each year and even secondary students. Is that suppose to tell us that we have equal future... Is that suppose encourage us and make us think that we can create goals... no it shows us that we are last on our governments mind. I know so many people that couldn't go to college this year... they put it off...yes another year working and trying to make into college....so then another year comes by and what do you know the tuition had increased again. If you want our generation to aspire for something great, well you need to start looking into our future and help us make that happen.
YES, I DO BELIEVE I AM WORTH MORE. It seems our country is going down hill that is all that I have seen. I was in the first year of the new curriculum in high school and I know how hard change is. We have been put through a lot and in huge ways. So maybe you could take some of the pressure off and understand that as a college student I need to have more appreciation and more funding.
Thank you,
Krysta
Have you ever been in Love?
"It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more."
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it oepns up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it oepns up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
compassionate existance
How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.
With my Dad
The most beautiful moment in my life... Sitting with my dad in our backyard. Watching the stars.....we used to watch them every year. it had been years. it was quiet... My dad and I had a connection without words...... looking into the sky and watching shooting stars and sattellites...... it was beautiful /...beautiful because it is one place that i cannot touch....I cannot destroy,,,,, If you think.....we have destroyed our planet.....everything we touch we ruin......that is the one place that we cannot touch.....it is secretive......it is unknown.....well in my eyes...... its kind of like a heart....no one knows what a heart has and doesn't have.....that is the most beautiful thing about love....that is why we are intreged.
A flower on a Mountain
Hurt. ... . Misunderstandings.... .. ... Past.... ... Future ... ... Beliefs....
My mind races with intentions of Gold. My word is truth.... you cant see through me. Because if you saw "ME" you would want to race to the end of the universe with my heart. There will never be another me.....another heart that leaps for you.... I throb.... my passion is everything. If i could bring you the calmest sunset would you sit with me and breathe the ocean air? You are a flower at the very top of the highest mountain... not one person knows how you have such vibrant colours..... that is how I see you.....You are the brightest flower that lives in a world full of dullness.......
My mind races with intentions of Gold. My word is truth.... you cant see through me. Because if you saw "ME" you would want to race to the end of the universe with my heart. There will never be another me.....another heart that leaps for you.... I throb.... my passion is everything. If i could bring you the calmest sunset would you sit with me and breathe the ocean air? You are a flower at the very top of the highest mountain... not one person knows how you have such vibrant colours..... that is how I see you.....You are the brightest flower that lives in a world full of dullness.......
Hello
Hello and welcome. This is my new blog. I will be postng very soon.. transfering over some old ones..... ok ciao... have a good night
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