What do I say to her

What do I say when Taylors mom looks in my eyes and asks why..

What will I do when I say goodbye to his beautiful face as they close the casket...
Will I smile when they talk of his memories..... or will I fall to the floor?
Will I grab someone and cry.. will I hate him for leaving me.... Will I look beyond this and love him for him... or will I cry until I cant breathe anymore?
Will I speak with passion of his life.... or will I cry because his life has ended.?

These questions are flowing through my mind as I wait for the funeral...
I miss Taylor... with all of my heart,,,, why is our world so complicated.. why am I hurting so bad,,,, why couldnt he have come to me.... a million ppl walking and talking past me... one thing on my mind..... I cant forget you..

bye..

I wish things turned out differently

Yesterday I found out that a good friend took his life. I am completely in shock and dont know what to do.
I talked to him last week.. He promised it would be ok.. he promised me we would be fine.... HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO US.... WE FUCKING LOVED HIM>> FUCKK

Ill be writing in a couple of days... I have a funeral and a wake to go... after that........... on friday... ill write more..

Krysta