You know lately... I have seen more in a friend then ever before. I judge people to quickly... and I dont give a person more of a chance. I mean at first I thought things about adam... that he did things I didnt aprove of. But more and more he shows me why I strive for so much. I mean I told him that I dont liek being so young and so serious and he tells me this is a good thing. And you know what... I look at things differently then most.... and when I think of Adam... and the things that are happening with him... I wish I could fix them... because he always fixes them for me.
MOst of my friends treat me wrong... most of my friends make me feel as though this life is nothing.... but more and more... I feel as though I am just not confiing in the few GOOD friends I do have... im always trying to be the favourite when I should just be me...
and I have realised that I have four good friends... and that is pretty much it.... and I am ok with that... Im ok to finally confide in the fully and show them who i really am.....
Thanks Adam for being an awesome friend
Friday, October 28, 2005
Withdrawl of you
The things I think.. The things I say... the everyday routines are from my heart and now in my life I am rethinking of what is important. Having friends, who aren't "real" friends tell me how I should live my life. What ive learned in my life.. is that your friends and family are the most important thing in our lifes..... BUT... I have always left one thing out... ME..... yourself... I think I try and make everyone else happy... so when I get time to myself... to make myself happy.... I end up unhapppy because I have no respect for myself.
Last night... something happened last night... and I missed Taylor more in my life then ever before.... I miss him... I cryed soo hard... you know when you cry and cant stop.... I miss him soo much...Im trying to live my life to every extent... Im trying to laugh... Im trying to do teh things I never thought Id ever do... and everytime I laugh or spent time with my family.. I think of him... thinking about what his parents are doing.. and what they are thinking..... Taylor.. do I ever hate you.. I miss you more then then words could say... my heart aches everyday for you... wishing I could be just like you.. and what scares me the most .. Is part of me is JUST like you... and I am afraid that I will leave everyone behind.. some days are unbearable.
There is one person on thsi earth ... Tyler....my ex boyfriend.... I love him more then anything or everything I have.. including myself.... he is my glory... he is my hope in this world. If everyone were like him.. we would have a perfect world..... he makes me feel like I am SOMETHING...... and now I am worried... because I dont want to be hurt again....
nothing hurts more then a broken heart... my heart is like a glass.... once you drop it... you can pick up the big pieces... but it is hard to ever get your heart to be the same again.. I love Tyler like I love the sky, the fall leaves, I love Tyler like I love the sound of the ocean.... I love him more then I love anything.... and now.. I am going to lose everything.. or so i fear....
A million things running through my mind and its hard to get it down... I mean... my life... is becoming too much.... sooo much going on... that I cannot even think of what to write..... I wish life was easy... or easier to get bye.
Last night... something happened last night... and I missed Taylor more in my life then ever before.... I miss him... I cryed soo hard... you know when you cry and cant stop.... I miss him soo much...Im trying to live my life to every extent... Im trying to laugh... Im trying to do teh things I never thought Id ever do... and everytime I laugh or spent time with my family.. I think of him... thinking about what his parents are doing.. and what they are thinking..... Taylor.. do I ever hate you.. I miss you more then then words could say... my heart aches everyday for you... wishing I could be just like you.. and what scares me the most .. Is part of me is JUST like you... and I am afraid that I will leave everyone behind.. some days are unbearable.
There is one person on thsi earth ... Tyler....my ex boyfriend.... I love him more then anything or everything I have.. including myself.... he is my glory... he is my hope in this world. If everyone were like him.. we would have a perfect world..... he makes me feel like I am SOMETHING...... and now I am worried... because I dont want to be hurt again....
nothing hurts more then a broken heart... my heart is like a glass.... once you drop it... you can pick up the big pieces... but it is hard to ever get your heart to be the same again.. I love Tyler like I love the sky, the fall leaves, I love Tyler like I love the sound of the ocean.... I love him more then I love anything.... and now.. I am going to lose everything.. or so i fear....
A million things running through my mind and its hard to get it down... I mean... my life... is becoming too much.... sooo much going on... that I cannot even think of what to write..... I wish life was easy... or easier to get bye.
Sad song
Sing a sad song
In a lonely place
Try to put a word in for me
It’s been so long
Since I found this place
You better put in two or three
We as people, are just walking ’round
Our heads are firmly fixed in the ground
What we don’t see
Well it can’t be real
What we don’t touch we cannot feel
Where we’re living in this town
The sun is coming up and it’s going down
But it’s all just the same at the end of the day
And we cheat and we lie
Nobody says it’s wrong
So we don’t ask why
Cause it’s all just the same at the end of the day
We’re throwing it all away
We’re throwing it all away
We’re throwing it all away at the end of the day
If you need it
Something I can give
I know I’d help you if I can
If your honest and you say that you did
You know that I would give you my hand
Or a sad song
In a lonely place
I’ll try to put a word in for you
Need a shoulder? well if that’s the case
You know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do
Where we’re living in this town
The sun is coming up and it’s going down
But it’s all just the same at the end of the day
When we cheat and we lie
Nobody says it’s wrong
So we don’t ask why
Cause it’s all just the same at the end of the day
Don’t throw it all away
Don’t throw it all away
Don’t throw it all away
Don’t throw it all away
Throwing it all away
Throwing it all away
Throwing it all away
Throwing it all away
Throwing it all away
You’re throwing it all away at the end of the day
In a lonely place
Try to put a word in for me
It’s been so long
Since I found this place
You better put in two or three
We as people, are just walking ’round
Our heads are firmly fixed in the ground
What we don’t see
Well it can’t be real
What we don’t touch we cannot feel
Where we’re living in this town
The sun is coming up and it’s going down
But it’s all just the same at the end of the day
And we cheat and we lie
Nobody says it’s wrong
So we don’t ask why
Cause it’s all just the same at the end of the day
We’re throwing it all away
We’re throwing it all away
We’re throwing it all away at the end of the day
If you need it
Something I can give
I know I’d help you if I can
If your honest and you say that you did
You know that I would give you my hand
Or a sad song
In a lonely place
I’ll try to put a word in for you
Need a shoulder? well if that’s the case
You know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do
Where we’re living in this town
The sun is coming up and it’s going down
But it’s all just the same at the end of the day
When we cheat and we lie
Nobody says it’s wrong
So we don’t ask why
Cause it’s all just the same at the end of the day
Don’t throw it all away
Don’t throw it all away
Don’t throw it all away
Don’t throw it all away
Throwing it all away
Throwing it all away
Throwing it all away
Throwing it all away
Throwing it all away
You’re throwing it all away at the end of the day
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