Withdrawl of you

The things I think.. The things I say... the everyday routines are from my heart and now in my life I am rethinking of what is important. Having friends, who aren't "real" friends tell me how I should live my life. What ive learned in my life.. is that your friends and family are the most important thing in our lifes..... BUT... I have always left one thing out... ME..... yourself... I think I try and make everyone else happy... so when I get time to myself... to make myself happy.... I end up unhapppy because I have no respect for myself.

Last night... something happened last night... and I missed Taylor more in my life then ever before.... I miss him... I cryed soo hard... you know when you cry and cant stop.... I miss him soo much...Im trying to live my life to every extent... Im trying to laugh... Im trying to do teh things I never thought Id ever do... and everytime I laugh or spent time with my family.. I think of him... thinking about what his parents are doing.. and what they are thinking..... Taylor.. do I ever hate you.. I miss you more then then words could say... my heart aches everyday for you... wishing I could be just like you.. and what scares me the most .. Is part of me is JUST like you... and I am afraid that I will leave everyone behind.. some days are unbearable.

There is one person on thsi earth ... Tyler....my ex boyfriend.... I love him more then anything or everything I have.. including myself.... he is my glory... he is my hope in this world. If everyone were like him.. we would have a perfect world..... he makes me feel like I am SOMETHING...... and now I am worried... because I dont want to be hurt again....

nothing hurts more then a broken heart... my heart is like a glass.... once you drop it... you can pick up the big pieces... but it is hard to ever get your heart to be the same again.. I love Tyler like I love the sky, the fall leaves, I love Tyler like I love the sound of the ocean.... I love him more then I love anything.... and now.. I am going to lose everything.. or so i fear....

A million things running through my mind and its hard to get it down... I mean... my life... is becoming too much.... sooo much going on... that I cannot even think of what to write..... I wish life was easy... or easier to get bye.