I realize, around the world, that religion is a very touchy subject. I am not here to say someone elses religion is wrong, simply because I am unsure of what I really believe in. I have so many beliefs that don't EVER fit into one religion. I do consider myself a very spiritual person and I believe that my personality, morals and beliefs have great value to many.
This last year I have found myself not only intreged by other religions, but by other concepts. One of which is the book, "the Secret". It is such a basic concept but has worked for me, only because sometimes I have very little drive. My past has only made me more and more driven to find a way to find happiness and success. Also to do this without having to go to a doctor or to sit in my own sadness."The Secret" basically teaches you to be positive in life and to have no limitations. Really, if you think about it, who wants limitations in life?
I just really really believe that we are not here to judge other beliefs or religions. If you think about it, if we judged people by their beliefs, then you basically would hate everyone that you meet!
I find that when we all try to abide by one specific belief, we get lost in a life that is not us! I would hope that someone wouldnt believe EVERYTHING in one religion. If you do, then I am obviously naive!! But seriously who are we if we only believe what we are TOLD to believe. I am ME because I disagree with some of the beliefs in my religion. Ill go as far as saying that I dont believe a lot of my religion... mostly because I am sooooooo intreged by other religions. I believe in people, and trying to understand them.
Who knows. I am not here to offend. Just to question life in general. I would rather life as me, then in a life where I am forced to believe what others believe!
:)
Monday, October 29, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
It makes sense
Today I write on my blog and wonder who I was a year and a half ago. Those posts were so negative and it reminds me of the pain I was in .
I think of the days where I could not get out of bed. It's so very hurtful to think of that time in my life. I look at the pictures of me and I cannot see myself in my eyes. Its actually scary to think of what I was thinking. In fact so scary that I have no idea what to write right now about it. I am embarrassed that I let my health become an issue. I am embarrassed that I EVER let myself hurt in a way where I actually felt like I had no good ending.
What happened to me during those days? I remember lying on my floor and crying for hours. I remember lying in bed and visualizing what death would be like, sometimes for a whole night. I believed only in the words that I preached about equality and about how horrible life can be.
Sometimes, I take myself back, like tonight. I think of my end decision. It was someone from a different culture who once asked me if I had gotten in a fight with my parents. I remember responding no, thinking what the heck. He had talked about how in his culture, family was number one. I actually sat down one day and thought, Im sick of feeling sick. I need to go home. I need to regain my hope and relationship with myself. That is what family is for. They lift you up when you have nothing. My final decision, changed my life!
I am sooo soooo sooooooo very proud of myself. I am unbelievably happy.
Many think that I shouldn't have gone back to Tyler. The thing is. I said bad things about him... because I was hurting. Him and I have been back together for about a year. We plan on getting engaged this year. Its soo weird how things just work out.
Anyways,,,, Ill write more when I am not tired. it is 1 am and I need to sleep.... But I am doing great and I am very happy!
Krysta
I think of the days where I could not get out of bed. It's so very hurtful to think of that time in my life. I look at the pictures of me and I cannot see myself in my eyes. Its actually scary to think of what I was thinking. In fact so scary that I have no idea what to write right now about it. I am embarrassed that I let my health become an issue. I am embarrassed that I EVER let myself hurt in a way where I actually felt like I had no good ending.
What happened to me during those days? I remember lying on my floor and crying for hours. I remember lying in bed and visualizing what death would be like, sometimes for a whole night. I believed only in the words that I preached about equality and about how horrible life can be.
Sometimes, I take myself back, like tonight. I think of my end decision. It was someone from a different culture who once asked me if I had gotten in a fight with my parents. I remember responding no, thinking what the heck. He had talked about how in his culture, family was number one. I actually sat down one day and thought, Im sick of feeling sick. I need to go home. I need to regain my hope and relationship with myself. That is what family is for. They lift you up when you have nothing. My final decision, changed my life!
I am sooo soooo sooooooo very proud of myself. I am unbelievably happy.
Many think that I shouldn't have gone back to Tyler. The thing is. I said bad things about him... because I was hurting. Him and I have been back together for about a year. We plan on getting engaged this year. Its soo weird how things just work out.
Anyways,,,, Ill write more when I am not tired. it is 1 am and I need to sleep.... But I am doing great and I am very happy!
Krysta
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