Judge me when you know ME

I dont understand why we are noticed for everything that we have done wrong or the things that we are not proud of. We do a lot in our life that is good or so I think. and we are never recognized for good.... or at least until we are dead. its true.... today I could be told that I have screwed everything up..... that I was the reason for everything turning to shit... that is a definite....... at least that is what is happening.... as much as Id like to think I am a good person... i am being told that I am not liked for who i am, for how I deal with things... for how I have made others sad or worried. but never am I praised for a smile i put on someones face for a laugh that warms a heart. never.. I could tell someone I love them,,, that they are perfect.. I could make a person feel like a million bucks.... but if I do one thing wrong... my good is forgotten... but if I died tomorrow..... people would talk about how I did this and that... how I made them smile or how I made them happy... why is that... why cant we just love someone for who they are... for the wrong and the right. instead of wasting it until teh person is gone.... Ill love you until you teh day you die...... not love you on the day of your death...... dont take taht forgranted
Lately.... I have been judged and told how I dont deal with things right. I dont understand... tehy are not in my shoes. they dont know what is going through my head... they dont know...
Before I judge i TRY to put myself in their shoes..... because i could judge that person... . and say what they are doing is wrong... yet I might have done the same thing . Its easy for you to look at me as weak... its easy for you to see through the smile.... yet you dont see my hopes and dreams..... my thoughts,
Soo why is it? why is it that someone can judge me..... for my decisions and wrongs.... and yet they cant ask me what excites me..... what makes me happy..... what i aspire for? Seems so simple right? just to ask? how I feel? instead of making me feel like I cant live without support every minute....... instead of making me feel usless..... i mean I dont know if you understand this...... but Id ratehr have someone have support and hope.. and love for me.... instead of worrying.... instead of telling me I look unhappy... instead of losing hope in me..... I already know I have lost hope in myself.... but Im not ready to hear that you have lost hope in me too....... if people lose hope in you... tehn what is worth living for,,,,, I would never make anyone believe i had lost hope in them...... because in everyone.... their is love and a side taht no one has seen before...... instead of judging and pushing for me to make the right decision.... make me feel comfortable... and give me support in my decisions.... after all...... A good friend is their to help work things out...... if you push to hard you'll lose taht friend.... even if you are just trying to help... Be there through good and bad
If you are my friend... be my friend....... if you arent.... leave me alone...
Krysta