It isnt perfect

Our lives change day to day and we don't seem to understand. We don't understand why we are so unsure or why people have changed so much. When I talked to a good friend last night I realised some things. As we talked and walked we talked about Tyler's anger towards friends who seemed to be untrue to him. We talked about what has gone missing from his life. You see he always thought he had everything figured out. He thought he knew exactly who he was. I made a point that he is at the same point as all of us, trying to figure out who we are and what we want from life. I guess what i dont understand is what is missing. There is a part of him that is missing. That part where everything makes sense. Well, its not making sense. I know him inside and out... or so I thought.

I mean I cannot explain what is happening right now... all i know is it feels great with him....... like we connect again. We were laying on his bed the other night...... just cuddling....... I was playing with his hair...... we fell asleep..... sooo much comfort. It just felt soo goood... I mean apart oof me is being stupid again..... but what I have learned... is he may find another girl and I am clear on that. that is ok... i understand. Of course it hurts, but that is only because he is my first love. I mean i could find another guy who intreges me. But what I have learned... is to take the moments... and I will. i will take teh moments with him... because I feel good during those moments. I feel great during those moments. I feel like ME during those moments.

I told him. That things happen naturally. Nothing should be pushed...but of course an effort soon turns into happiness. Once an effort is happiness...... Our lives make sense of themsleves.

So our relationship might not be perfect.... being confused as to what our friendship means.... but nothing is perfect... and i am willing to settle on that.

Krysta