Thank you Taylor

If you know me, then you know that this last year has been one of the hardest years of my life. I couldnt understand why i was so down all of the time or why I was so negative. I wish i could say that I have always been happy and always will but we all have ups and downs of our lives. Taylor opened my eyes to a world where everything is moving so fast.... but our hearts have to keep us stable. Afetr Taylors Funeral I realised a few things.... I realised that I need to show my love to the people I love most... that a job or school is NOT more important then my well being or my friends or family's well being. If you are in the same place as I am.. then you are trying to figure out who you are. In my opinion... I think thatwe have personalities taht are always there... I mean we have them when we are little... and then throughout highschool you are intreged with another life taht you lose apart of you.... I mean for me.... this year I looked in the mirror... and had no idea who i was looking at... that isnt me. and I guess teh part i lost came back when taylor left. I realised that we have so much hate... HATE FOR NOTHING.... I mean I was angry at ppl.... and realised that I wasnt angry I was hurt and that I still loved those ppl. There is a quote "Anger is an extension of sadness, It is easier to be angry then to tell someone you are hurt." this is completely true... when Taylor died... I appologised to those people because it isnt worth it. What if tehy were to die tomorrow.,... I woudl hate myself. I realised that I still have a lot of friends. They are still there... we just lost touch. it wasnt their fault or mine... it happens in life.. and a little bit at a time we lose a piece of us... of our lives... this is why we turn out to be so unhappy and alone. I realised taht I was so afraid to confide in my friends that I thought I was alone. I pushed everyone out. i realised last week.... that it is ok to cry.... it iis ok to let people know you care. It is ok to ask for a hug or even aska friend to spend time with you... it isnt an inconvenience, its friendship. I mean i was so lost in teh innocence of yesterday that I didnt realise that I still have my whole life ahead of me. I realised that I AM a good person.. that I have touched peoples lives... and that I DID and DO mean something to people.. All I ask for my future and yours... IS TO LIVE LIFE..... it is so true ... ours lives are short..... as teh years go on... we will lose more and more friends and family to death. One day it will be you or I... our day to die. the only way we will make it is if we let our love blossom. I know I will never let go of taylor.... he is a friend for life... he always was..... but now... we need to let teh other people that mean something, KNOW that they mean something... So that when our day comes.. people will be able to remember us as friend for life..... or when friends or family die.. they will know that they were loved..... This is crucial..... to be able to move on through life